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Threat Intelligence

4/26/2018
02:00 PM
John Klossner
John Klossner
Cartoon Contest
67%
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Name That Toon: Threat Landscape

We provide the cartoon. You provide the caption.
We provide the cartoon. You provide the caption.

Submit your caption in the comments, and our panel of experts will reward the winner with a $25 Amazon gift card. If you don't want to enter a caption, help us pick a winner by voting on the submissions. Click thumbs up for those you find funny; thumbs down, not so. As always, editorial comments are encouraged and welcomed.

Click here for contest rules. For advice on how to beat the competition, check out How To Win A Cartoon Caption Contest. The contest closes May 31.

 

John Klossner has been drawing technology cartoons for more than 15 years. His work regularly appears in Computerworld and Federal Computer Week. His illustrations and cartoons have also been published in The New Yorker, Barron's, and The Wall Street Journal. Web site: ... View Full Bio

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Marilyn Cohodas
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Marilyn Cohodas,
User Rank: Strategist
4/26/2018 | 2:46:43 PM
Time for a new caption contest!
We provide the cartoon, you write the caption! The best one wins a prize...
jjflavin56
50%
50%
jjflavin56,
User Rank: Apprentice
4/26/2018 | 5:55:59 PM
Re: Time for a new caption contest!
60's holdover - the Russians (cyber) are Coming! Duck & Cover!
mnorton01
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0%
mnorton01,
User Rank: Apprentice
4/27/2018 | 1:18:43 PM
Re: Time for a new caption contest!
I'm reducing my attack surface. 
TP4MBH
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100%
TP4MBH,
User Rank: Apprentice
4/30/2018 | 9:44:30 AM
Re: Time for a new caption contest!
Can't do this with your rolly chairs and fancy desktops!
glazarou
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glazarou,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/1/2018 | 1:14:48 PM
Re: Time for a new caption contest!
Way to take compression to the next level Chuck.
pgrieser
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50%
pgrieser,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/2/2018 | 6:36:57 PM
Re: Time for a new caption contest!
He returned from Black Hat a changed man.
jcar195
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jcar195,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/4/2018 | 9:20:56 AM
Re: Time for a new caption contest!
The yearly security training worked a little too well.
camerobabe
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camerobabe,
User Rank: Strategist
5/4/2018 | 10:10:26 AM
Re: Time for a new caption contest!
Dave just completed his "Insider Threat" training.
Vexel
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Vexel,
User Rank: Strategist
5/4/2018 | 10:51:37 AM
Re: Time for a new caption contest!
The cubes at his last company had 4 walls.
dwaltersct
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dwaltersct,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/5/2018 | 2:05:51 PM
Re: Time for a new caption contest!
Hey, it works for Ellie on NCIS!
elitet3ch
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0%
elitet3ch,
User Rank: Strategist
5/24/2018 | 12:20:22 AM
Re: Time for a new caption contest!
Shhh!  They're watching...

And you have a laptop?

 
JustSteve
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JustSteve,
User Rank: Apprentice
6/1/2018 | 8:04:04 PM
Re: Time for a new caption contest!
Aren't the Russians coming?
lynnbr2
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lynnbr2,
User Rank: Strategist
4/27/2018 | 6:19:39 AM
KPIs
According to the AI hashing my KPIs, we are about to have an active shooter drill !
REISEN1955
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REISEN1955,
User Rank: Ninja
4/27/2018 | 7:05:49 AM
Caption
Phil had yet to realize that he was browsing incognito the wrong way. 
willy24
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willy24,
User Rank: Apprentice
4/27/2018 | 11:54:34 AM
Caption
Stan lowers his exploitable attack surface.
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
4/27/2018 | 3:41:09 PM
js001
"Okay, genius. How do YOU protect yourself from fake news?"
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
4/27/2018 | 3:42:40 PM
js002
"Can-- Can you hand me my coffee?"
Joe Stanganelli
33%
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
4/27/2018 | 3:46:34 PM
js003
"Layoffs? Who said anything about layoffs?"
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
4/28/2018 | 12:21:33 PM
js004
"I bike to work, someone stole my chair, and I have bad arches. What's so weird about any of that?"
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
4/29/2018 | 1:37:43 AM
js005
"Look, it's either this, or upgrade our endpoints."
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
4/29/2018 | 1:41:46 AM
js006
"Haven't you ever heard of layered security?"
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
4/29/2018 | 1:44:17 AM
js007
"Shhh! I'm the CISO. Don't tell anyone I'm here."
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
4/29/2018 | 11:16:36 PM
js008
"Get out of there! The attacks are coming from 192.168.16.255!"
Joe Stanganelli
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40%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
4/30/2018 | 10:03:05 AM
js009
"Is it just me, or have the anti-phishing training modules gotten way more punitive?"
Joe Stanganelli
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50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
4/30/2018 | 5:35:54 PM
js010
"I asked for my own office, and this is what I got."
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
4/30/2018 | 5:37:14 PM
js011
"I live off the grid. It's how I survive reorgs."
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
4/30/2018 | 5:39:45 PM
js012
"What's blockchain?"
Piyush1154
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Piyush1154,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/1/2018 | 8:06:34 AM
Re: js012 - Block Chain explained in layman terms
Block Chain explained in layman terms — 

 

https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/block-chain-technology-piyush-jain/
BrianofBoston
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BrianofBoston,
User Rank: Strategist
5/1/2018 | 10:11:10 AM
Caption
Rodney tries to join the hidden network.
jafreyman
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jafreyman,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/1/2018 | 11:21:43 AM
Rodney
Rodney, you can wear that helmet and hide under the desk, but the Russian's are still tracking you!
ketch011409
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ketch011409,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/1/2018 | 6:17:46 PM
Time for a new caption contest!
Yes Frank, those are actually Real-Time Cyber Threat Maps showing cyberattacks.  No Frank, it isn't SkyNet launching missiles to begin Judgement Day.
EKramer62
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EKramer62,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/2/2018 | 9:27:50 AM
Cartoon Camption

"No, I can't tell you who stole your chair. Just go find another one down in the conference room."

tdrought
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tdrought,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/2/2018 | 9:40:29 AM
Name that
Mark, you checking your Bitcoin again?
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/2/2018 | 8:17:51 PM
js013
"Shh! You'll scare the phish away."
Joe Stanganelli
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50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/2/2018 | 8:19:17 PM
js014
"Don't mind my scratching my butt against the carpet. I caught a worm."
Joe Stanganelli
50%
50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/2/2018 | 8:21:47 PM
js015
"Okay, it's not a very good breach-preparedness plan, but where the heck is your plan, Cheryl?!"
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/2/2018 | 8:22:01 PM
js016
"Why aren't you?"
jrig1842
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jrig1842,
User Rank: Strategist
5/3/2018 | 7:06:45 AM
Cyber Wars
The Boss has a Cyber Gauntlet, I don't feel so good........
Joe Stanganelli
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50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/3/2018 | 9:23:19 AM
js017
"Autocorrect. I texted my boss that I wanted a new ducking desk."
JasonF217
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JasonF217,
User Rank: Strategist
5/3/2018 | 9:34:50 AM
Caption
Look who's not in his mother's basement anymore!
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/3/2018 | 9:35:10 AM
js018
"I'm just feeling very insecure right now."
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/3/2018 | 9:42:28 AM
js019
"Oh, they just hired me to wait for things to go wrong."
GWAIN
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GWAIN,
User Rank: Strategist
5/3/2018 | 11:15:25 AM
Under Here
I got an email saying my desktop was compromised.
CKappenman
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CKappenman,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/3/2018 | 11:45:33 AM
Cartoon Caption
You want to know what I'm doing?  I'm working on my disaster recovery plan. DUH!!!!!
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/4/2018 | 4:47:53 PM
js020
"I'm looking for bugs."
Joe Stanganelli
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Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/4/2018 | 4:50:26 PM
js021
"Not the button.The CEO pushed a button. He doesn't know which one. I'm just waiting for the fallout."
0scorpion0
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0scorpion0,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/5/2018 | 1:14:59 PM
Improvisation...
Management denied my request for a Faraday Cage!
Joe Stanganelli
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50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/6/2018 | 12:17:01 PM
js022
"It's not a matter of if the sky is going to fall, but when."
Joe Stanganelli
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50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/6/2018 | 12:21:01 PM
js023
"Do you mind? I need to wipe my critical assets."
Joe Stanganelli
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50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/6/2018 | 12:24:31 PM
js024
"I found a flaw in our BC/DR plan. Can you call my chiropractor?"
Samtheseagull
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Samtheseagull,
User Rank: Strategist
5/7/2018 | 3:34:00 AM
Man in the middle
Alice: Are you interfering with my Chai latte order, Everett?

Everett: I am working undercover, apparently someone has hacked Bob's pizza order, it was a denial of sausage attack (DOS)
Kristendean80
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Kristendean80,
User Rank: Strategist
5/7/2018 | 9:55:55 AM
Under the Table
" I'll take the job only if you can pay me under the table"
lakers85
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lakers85,
User Rank: Strategist
5/7/2018 | 2:14:15 PM
Sorry friend...
this is Billing, not IT Security. No need to hide.
capitalIT
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capitalIT,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/8/2018 | 9:15:48 AM
The only IT Guy in HR
"Obviously you guys majored in Political Science" 
Julius-1
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Julius-1,
User Rank: Strategist
5/8/2018 | 10:11:05 AM
Fresh out of college.
Fresh out of college and isn't used to furniture and a workspace yet.
ianrod
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ianrod,
User Rank: Strategist
5/8/2018 | 1:46:27 PM
Developers...
And this is why you don't give Security Dev/Ops caffeine.
KennethD292
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KennethD292,
User Rank: Strategist
5/29/2018 | 2:22:20 PM
Caption
First we had the standing desk trend, now we have the squatting desk trend....
REISEN1955
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REISEN1955,
User Rank: Ninja
5/30/2018 | 1:46:06 PM
Re: Caption
It's the L3 vertibrae --- don't ask.
Julius-1
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Julius-1,
User Rank: Strategist
5/9/2018 | 4:44:04 PM
Resistance is futile.
Larry comes out of the "zone" to find his start-up has been purchased and assimilated.
pgailey
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pgailey,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/10/2018 | 12:41:49 PM
Name That Toon:
The results of the Cyber Risk GAP Assessment were just delivered to the Board.  Jim is contemplating his next move. 
jeffswyatt
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jeffswyatt,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/11/2018 | 10:50:41 AM
Literally Floored
Billy can't understand why everone else received a desktop computer and he has to use a laptop.
jmalto
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jmalto,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/11/2018 | 4:57:53 PM
Caption:
This is what happens when you mix caffeine and Security Awareness Training.
Genadyvis
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Genadyvis,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/14/2018 | 10:03:34 AM
Caption
The regretful outcome of "cyber squatting"
stowell23
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stowell23,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/15/2018 | 12:49:42 PM
Caption
Caption:  Given all the "drive by" incidents, I thought I'd duck and cover!
MintyFresh668
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MintyFresh668,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/16/2018 | 7:05:59 AM
Bob, a Facebook ad manager, was paranoid about the Russians 'cleaning up' any links...
Bob, a Facebook ad manager, was paranoid about the Russians 'cleaning up' any links...
lazyjones
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0%
lazyjones,
User Rank: Strategist
5/19/2018 | 6:18:52 AM
Caption
"Security through obscurity"
clnieto
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0%
clnieto,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/22/2018 | 4:20:21 AM
Cartoon Contest
Typin' in my password. Somebody's shoulder surfin'. Woooh!
mehrdad.nourani@kcmo.org
50%
50%
[email protected],
User Rank: Apprentice
5/22/2018 | 9:50:07 AM
Time for a new caption contest!
Get me if you can! I'm air gapped.
J.Carson
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50%
J.Carson,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/22/2018 | 11:19:33 AM
Paranoid??
Who's a little paranoid?? 
bgeisler913
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0%
bgeisler913,
User Rank: Strategist
5/22/2018 | 1:07:01 PM
When management no longer allows telecommuting.
 

 

Don't mind Sam he is adjusting to being back in the office after telecommuting for so long.
Abujamra
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Abujamra,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/22/2018 | 1:28:38 PM
DARK READING CARTOON CAPTION CONTEST
"The one you have not seen, won't be remembered".
julrichWest
50%
50%
julrichWest,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/25/2018 | 2:12:49 PM
Caption
Caption:
I need more protection than my aluminum foil hat provides!
bbeyst
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bbeyst,
User Rank: Strategist
5/25/2018 | 2:28:43 PM
Cartoon contenst
Despite Bob's best efforts, the phishing emails still found him.
srajput3673
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srajput3673,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/25/2018 | 2:43:53 PM
Re: Cartoon contenst
Trust me, the wireless is much stronger down here
Cholo_Nieto
67%
33%
Cholo_Nieto,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/25/2018 | 4:26:25 PM
Typosquatting
"I'm doing exactly what he told me to do... typosquatting."
amirmansari
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0%
amirmansari,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/29/2018 | 9:31:48 AM
Don't mind Jim, he is taking hardening to a whole new level....
Don't mind Jim, he is taking hardening to a whole new level....
fallenangyl
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50%
fallenangyl,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/30/2018 | 2:33:13 PM
cartoon
Are the mean end users gone yet?
Samson-dog
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Samson-dog,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/31/2018 | 2:20:30 PM
Safe Computing
Weren't you paying attention when information security encouraged everybody to practice safe computing?
CyberRob
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0%
CyberRob,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/31/2018 | 3:17:47 PM
Reality
Mom? Dad? Can one of you hand me my drink? I can't reach it!
martingail
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100%
martingail,
User Rank: Apprentice
6/1/2018 | 6:59:30 AM
Re: Reality
Hello there! I am newbie here.
CyberRob
50%
50%
CyberRob,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/31/2018 | 3:22:10 PM
Safe Spaces
Little Johnny finds a safe space for trolling!
CyberRob
50%
50%
CyberRob,
User Rank: Apprentice
5/31/2018 | 3:27:20 PM
Awkward Silence
That look on your face when you forget to turn down the volume while "Surfing" your favorite internet sites!!!
RyanSepe
50%
50%
RyanSepe,
User Rank: Ninja
5/31/2018 | 3:34:30 PM
Caption: GDPR
"I know GDPR sounds scary Mark but hiding under your desk isn't going to make it go away!"
Joe Stanganelli
50%
50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/31/2018 | 8:28:43 PM
j025
"I'm just trying to hide from the security alerts for a while."
Joe Stanganelli
50%
50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/31/2018 | 8:30:51 PM
j026
"Mind your business! Surfing the dark web is supposed to be anonymous!"
Joe Stanganelli
50%
50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/31/2018 | 8:34:00 PM
j027
"Are you crazy? I'm not coming out until EVERYONE reboots their routers!"
Joe Stanganelli
50%
50%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/31/2018 | 10:48:03 PM
j028
"Duck and cover! Auditors at 3 o'clock!"
RyanSepe
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50%
RyanSepe,
User Rank: Ninja
5/31/2018 | 10:48:48 PM
Re: j028
This probably hits close to home for a lot of people.
Joe Stanganelli
0%
100%
Joe Stanganelli,
User Rank: Ninja
5/31/2018 | 10:50:18 PM
j029
"I'm stuck and can't do anything. Can you put in a support ticket for me?"
jpatterson300
100%
0%
jpatterson300,
User Rank: Apprentice
6/5/2018 | 1:45:25 PM
Acclimation
You can take the hacker out of Mom's basement...
Data Leak Week: Billions of Sensitive Files Exposed Online
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Shane Buckley, President & Chief Operating Officer, Gigamon,  12/9/2019
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